


Not-So-Blind Dates

by wow_dood



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bisexual Remus Lupin, F/F, F/M, First Dates, First Kiss, Gay Sirius Black, Good Peter Pettigrew, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Multi, Not Beta Read, Not the plot but the characterization, Remus Lupin Lives, Sirius Black Lives, inspired by Mischief Managers, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29008500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wow_dood/pseuds/wow_dood
Summary: Lily Evans is a menace. Remus knows that that might be an over exaggeration, but he doesn't care anymore. She's forcing Remus to go on a date with some guy that he's never met before, not to mention she'll be there, with Marlene and Dorcas, monitoring the entire thing. She owed him so much. But, wait, why does this guy look familiar?
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	Not-So-Blind Dates

**Author's Note:**

> I don't support JK Rowling or her beliefs, and I am a firm believer of liking the content, not the creator. Plus, isn't the fan content so much better anyways?
> 
> Inspired by Mischief Managers. Go check them out on YouTube if you haven't heard of them, they do great Marauders, Golden Trio, and Second Gen cosplay, not to mention excellent Wolfstar and Drarry content.

Remus Lupin sat under the pine tree that directly overlooked the Great Lake. It was situations like the one he was currently in that both amused and annoyed him. Every month or so, James and Sirius got the brilliant idea to jump into the lake and make a big scene, usually for a distraction. Currently, Sirius was doing a dance routine in the water to distract from the fact that Peter and James were hexing every toilet on the school grounds to sing sea shanties every time Snape sat down. The closest non-singing toilet would be at Hogsmeade, meaning that Snape wouldn’t be able to sit on a toilet without it aggressively serenading him for miles.

Frankly, Remus had surprised himself at the genius behind that one. However difficult it had been to figure out the logistics behind hexing every. single. toilet, once that had been worked out it was a foolproof prank. And it was one that would insure that Lily wouldn’t scream at them. It didn’t physically affect Snape in any way, but it would be a bloody good time for the Marauders. 

So, Remus was keeping watch while Sirius splashed around in the lake and made a fool of himself. He was also quietly nursing the beginnings of a headache and waiting anxiously for sparks to shoot from the astronomy tower, the signal from James and Peter that their task was complete. Blue sparks meant that they were successful, red meant that they were caught and had detention, and grey sparks meant that they were unsuccessful in another way. Remus and Sirius had been tasked with distraction.

They had needed a way to go through and distract the parts of the school that James and Peter were in without making it too obvious what they were doing. Remus had started it off by anonymously paying off some first years to go around to the five classrooms around the bathrooms and distract the professors with long and meaningless questions. After Remus has spent all of the money that James had given him to use, Remus went on to give Sirius free reign. Sirius had managed to gather a group of muggleborns to sing and dance with him, flash mob style, with the giant performance pulling attention and ending up with all of them diving into the lake. During that time, James and Remus arranged the spark color code, and Remus followed Sirius to the lake while James and Peter also split up to cover more ground.

Remus had zoned out and when zoned back in, he realized that he had been staring at Sirius. He quickly looked away, flushed, trying to avoid making eye contact with him. He happened to look at the astronomy tower right when a bolt of red sparks shot into the sky. Remus scrambled to grab his book and his bag. He waved his arms to grab Sirius’s attention, and as soon as he got it he pointed to the tower, where a second round of sparks was still in the air. Sirius sprinted out of the water, albeit slowly, and Remus met him at the edge of the lake. 

Remus found himself panicking slightly. “Padfoot, what do we do?”

Sirius laughed a little, “Well, Moons, we’re gonna go back to our dorm so I can shower off the lake water. Then we can hear about the toilet escapades from Wormtail and Prongs. There's no possible way for us to get in trouble. Unless there's a rule against jumping into the lake."

That had sufficiently calmed Remus somehow. "There probably is, you know," He said. 

Sirius just laughed again and threw an arm around Remus's shoulder, having to reach up slightly to make up for the height difference. "Well, shit," he said, "we'd better leave the scene of the crime then, huh Moony?"

Remus grinned and let himself be led into Hogwarts and up to the Gryffindor common rooms, where Marlene McKinnon was sitting by the fireplace and was presumably doing the potions paper that Remus had been bitterly avoiding. As soon as the two boys barged in, she set aside her quill to laugh at the state of a waterlogged Sirius and an exasperated Remus.

"You really outdid yourselves this time, didn't you, Black? Whole school's talking about the toilets now. They say it was just Potter and Pettigrew, but I call bullshit. Black roped you in to help be a diversion, right?" She asked Remus.

Remus just laughed good-naturedly. “Something like that.”

He much preferred to be seen as an unwilling participant rather than the mastermind behind the pranks. It was easier to feign ignorance that way. Of course, it helped that James and Sirius were so willing to take the credit for all of the stunts they pulled, brilliant or not. 

Sirius pushed Remus toward Marlene, so Remus sat himself down across the table from her. Sirius made his way to the dormitory, and Marlene resumed her work on her essay. 

"How's the potions report treating you?" Remus asked awkwardly.

"Not great, to be honest. I kinda wish I was doing literally anything else right now. How'd you know it was potions?"

"You were making the same face I would be if I were working on potions, so I took a wild guess."

Marlene giggled, the type of laugh that seemed more for his benefit than hers.

"So…" Marlene asked, long and drawn out, "Is Black dating anyone right now?"

And there it was. He didn't like this question at all. Unfortunately, he had heard it more than once.

"Not currently," Remus said, trying not to grit his teeth, "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason," Marlene said. She had a mischievous glint in her eyes that he recognized as the same one Lily would get on occasion, usually before hexing James.

"Okay, I'm going to pretend that I believe you just because I'm kind of scared of what will happen if I don't."

Marlene grinned wolfishly, "Good. Now, what do you say we convince Evans to help the both of us with this awful fucking essay?"

Remus thought it over. Sirius was in the shower and would probably want to do something, but James and Peter would be back soon and Sirius would be just fine with them. It all depended on when the other boys got back.

Remus relayed all of this information to Marlene. Marlene just nodded and agreed to wait for them to get back first.

Sirius walked into the common room a few minutes later, his hair still wet from his shower. Remus had to look away for a moment to compose himself. Sirius caught sight of the two, still at the table, and bounded over loudly, earning him annoyed stares from the other Gryffindors just trying to relax or get their homework done. 

“Hey Moony! Hi McKinnon,” he said, only sparing a glance at Marlene. Remus felt like he should’ve said something acknowledging that Sirius was being rude, but the warm feeling he was getting from being the center of Sirius’s attention was more important to him at that moment. “What are you two lovebirds doing? Both of you have barely moved a muscle since I got into the shower.”

Marlene reached across the table and smacked Sirius’s shoulder. “Just because you can’t sit still for five minutes doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t. For your information, Lupin and I were being studious. Though you probably don’t even know what that word means.”

Sirius leaned his chair back, faking a yawn, “Sounds boring.”

Marlene just scoffed and shook her head fondly. Remus turned to Sirius, thoroughly amused by their interaction. “Hey,” Remus said, pulled Sirius’s attention away from the fact that Marlene just stuck her tongue out at him. “Are you okay waiting for James and Peter by yourself?”

Sirius’s face fell slightly, but Remus had expected that. It didn’t make him feel any less guilty, though. “Marlene asked me to go with her to the library to study more!” Remus explained before Sirius started jumping to conclusions, as he so often did. Remus couldn’t really blame him, being raised in such a pompous pure blood household was bound to leave some lasting trauma and trust issues. 

Sirius’s expression returned to some sort of positive one, if not a little dampened by a hint of disappointment. Remus figured he should’ve been started by how well he could read Sirius’s micro-expressions, but he already knew that he was too close to Sirius, so he just pushed down the butterflies in his stomach and forged forward. “Is it okay if I go with her?”

Sirius nodded and smiled, if not a little bitterly, “Of course it’s fine. You don’t need to ask me for permission to go on a study date with the very lovely McKinnon,” he said, glancing at Marlene with a smirk.

“Oi!” Marlene said, standing up and gathering her books, “It’s not a date, Black! Lupin happens to fancy someone else. And even if he didn’t, we’re not really each other’s type, are we?”

Remus didn’t respond. He had tuned out when she mentioned he fancied someone. When had he ever said that? He didn’t fancy anyone. At least, he didn’t think so. He looked up and noticed Marlene already halfway out of the common room. 

Sirius looked as shell shocked as Remus felt. “You’d better go catch up to her, Moony,” he said.

For once, Remus took Sirius’s advice without a second thought. He scrambled to grab his bag, which held all of his books and such, before racing out to the hall. The last thing he heard before closing the portrait was Sirius’s echoed laughter. 

He sped up to match Marlene’s rushed gait. “What the hell was that all about?” Remus whispered.

Marlene schooled her face into the picture of nonchalance and ignorance. “I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

“Oh you know exactly what I’m ‘referring to’ McKinnon. I don’t fancy anybody.”

“Oh, just like how Dorcas and I are ‘just friends’?”

“What? No! Wait, you and Meadowes?”

Marlene stopped and pulled Remus off to the side of the hall. “Not important right now. The point is, you fancy Sirius Black.”

“McKinnon, what in Merlin’s name are you talking about?”

“Look at me and tell me you don’t have a crush on Black.”

Remus opened his mouth to respond, but snapped it closed again. The warm feelings, the twisting jealousy, the staring. How could he have been so stupid? Of course he fancied Sirius. Everyone did. The only problem was, it took him years to realize this, and Sirius was his best friend. He. Was. Fucked. 

Marlene shook him slightly, “Lupin? Remus? Are you okay? Listen I’m sorry if I crossed a line there, I won’t bring it up again. I promise I don’t have a problem with it. I’m not one of those people. You know, the ones who treat gay people like monsters. I mean, hell, I’ll be honest, I’ve fancied girls before. I made out with Evans a couple times. I probably shouldn’t have said that. Don’t tell James. Not that I’m implying he has a problem with that either. I think he might like it a little too much. Plus Dorcas and I… Well I don’t really know what we are right now, but that’s besides the point. Dammit, I’m sorry Remus. I didn’t mean to jump to conclusions. I’m just making this worse. I’ll shut up now.”

Remus pulled Marlene into a hug. “Merlin’s beard,” he said, “I have a crush on Sirius.”

Marlene pulled back and took a deep breath. “Were you listening to any of that?”

Remus laughed, “Do you just make out with all of your roommates??”

Marlene pushed at Remus’s shoulder and walked ahead. “Only the cute ones.”

He followed quickly behind her, laughing. They walked in relative silence until they reached the library. Marlene made her way down to where Lily was presumably waiting for her. Remus made a quick stop to drop off two of his due library books and renew a few others, before joining them. 

“Marlene told you then?” Lily asked before Remus had even sat down.

He slid Marlene’s renewed book to her, before turning to Lily. “Told me what, that you two snogged?”

Lily’s eyes widened before throwing a wad of parchment at him, “No! Wait, you told him?”

“It was a moment of emotional vulnerability,” Marlene said, raising her hands in defense. “Plus, I also started unpacking my relationship issues, which are even less sexy.”

Remus definitely didn’t have the energy to discuss Marlene’s romantic mishaps, and he wanted to get back on subject before Lily started asking him about Sirius. He knew her well enough to know that if they got onto that topic, she would get the pity look in her eyes, and he didn’t think he could handle that on top of everything else that had happened that day. “Can we just move on? I don’t wanna think about this right now. Let’s just do the homework, please?”

Marlene feigned hurt, “Wow, you’d rather do potions homework than help a poor useless dyke figure out her relationship status?”

“Absolutely.”

Marlene burst out laughing, so loudly that the other students all glared at her until the librarian finally shushed her, only succeeding in diminishing her laughter to giggles. Remus could also hear Lily’s muffled giggles, but she was covering her face with the sleeve of her robe, so no one else could tell that she was aiding in the noise. 

Once Marlene had calmed down from her frankly dramatic overreaction to his response, she pushed some parchment and a quill to Remus.

“Let’s get started, you prick.”

The combined brainpower of Lily, Remus, and Marlene meant that they had finished the potions and Marlene’s late divination essays after only two hours. 

When they were done, Remus moved to leave, but Marlene hopped up and stopped him. “Hey Lupin, Evans and I have something we’d like to ask you to do for us.”

Remus didn’t like the sound of that at all. “And what would that be?”

Lily stepped forward, a barely concealed grin on her face. If it weren’t for the fact that Remus had spent the better part of his evening getting her help, he would’ve ran away there and then. But, he felt indebted to her for this. “I have this friend,” Lily started., “who wants to set his mate up with a nice guy. The only problem is, his friend’s gay. So…”

“So you want to set up your only queer friend with some random gay guy?”

Marlene jumped in, “It’s only one date! Plus I think you’d really like this guy.”

Remus pulled her closer to him and turned away from Lily. “Weren’t we just talking about this? Why would you force me through this revelation just to make me go on a date with someone who I will most definitely not like?”

“Listen here, Lupin. I didn’t ‘force you’ to do anything. I thought you already knew. How was I supposed to know that you’re just as thick as the rest of your merry band of idiots? Plus, I promise Lily to help her out with this,” Marlene hissed back.

“Okay, fine. But you owe me one, McKinnon.” Remus responded, rolling his eyes.

“Get back to me about that after you’ve met this guy,” she responded slyly.

Remus didn’t appreciate being used as a queer pawn in a game of dating chess, but if Lily was willing to spend a couple hours each week helping him with the ridiculous potions homework that Slughorn assigned, he could sacrifice an hour of his weekend to go on some miserable date with a stranger.

He turned back to Lily, who was smiling kindly and patiently. “Okay,” he said, “I’ll go on the date. Who’s this guy I’m going to meet?”

“Oh,” Lily said, waving dismissively, “I don’t really remember. Some wizard or another. All I really know is that he’s your age.”

“Evans!” Remus said, outraged, “I’m going to be kidnapped by this man! You don’t even know his name?”

“No, I don’t. But it’s fine, because McKinnon, Meadowes, and I are going to be going to the restaurant too. So you’ll be completely safe.”

“I hate both of you.”

Marlene grinned, “I know, it’s part of our charm.” Then her smile fell, “Wait, did you say Dorcas is going?”

* * *

The morning of the “Big Date” was just like every Saturday morning. Except it wasn’t quite like every Saturday morning, since Sirius wasn’t there. James just shrugged when Remus asked why, but the secretive smile that Peter couldn’t quite keep hidden gave it away. Those bastards knew exactly where Sirius was. They were definitely hiding something from Remus. That being said, Remus didn’t really have time to address this. He had to meet Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas at 10, and he was already 10 minutes late. He made his way across the grounds, trying not to look like a madman, when someone jumped on his back. He resisted the immediate urge to throw them off of him. This is because he caught a glimpse of the fiery red hair that was on the head of this person.

“Lily?” Remus asked, “What are you doing?”

Lily backed off, revealing that Marlene and Dorcas were also with her. “We’re going to help you get ready!”

“I am ready.” Remus responded. Marlene gave him a look up and down.

“You are?” she asked. Dorcas swatted at her arm. Marlene turned away, blushing.

Lily pulled Remus forward, away from the other girls. “Merlin’s sake, I don’t have the patience for this today,” she mumbled, “This is already a fifteen step plan without the useless lesbians.”

“Wait,” Remus said, stopping in his tracks, “I thought this was a simple in and out date? So this friend of yours thinks better of you. What are the other fourteen steps?”

“Well, one of them is going to Diagon Alley.”

“Are we allowed to do that?”

“Who cares?”

They made their way through the Floo system to Diagon Alley, where Remus tried again to ask what the other fourteen steps were.

Lily just huffed, and moved on toward Madam Malkin’s. Remus desperately hoped that he didn’t have to change from his comfortable jumper to a stuffy robe. If it was just Lily, he wouldn’t have to worry, since neither of them had enough money to afford a dress robe, but since Dorcas was sent a monthly allowance and Marlene was known to pickpocket her parents’ money pouches from time to time, nothing was off the table. Marlene walked past, noticing Remus’s hesitation. “Don’t worry, dickhead, we’re just getting Evans a new robe. We’re also gonna take advantage of the dressing rooms. So you can change into this.” She lifted up a drawstring bag, bringing Remus’s attention to it for the first time since they got here. He could’ve asked why he couldn’t just change in his dorm, but he was more concerned with what was in the bag.

Remus raised an eyebrow and she walked past, “And what is that?”

Marlene turned so she was walking backwards, “You’ll find out very soon, my poor, poor friend.”

With that, she grabbed Dorcas’s hand and ran ahead to catch up with Lily, leaving Remus about twenty paces away and very confused. 

Thankfully, they waited for him in the entrance way of Madam Malkin’s, and when they got inside, Dorcas and Lily went to get Evans’ robes and Remus was left with the girl he was most comfortable spending time with.

She stood right outside the dressing room as he got changed into, fortunately, just a really nice jumper. “Nicked it from my cousin’s closet when I went to visit him this summer,” Marlene provided, “What do you think?”

“Well, I like the jumper, but the trousers are a bit tight.”

“That’s how they’re supposed to look, dumbass.” Remus could practically hear Marlene’s eye rolling even through the curtain. “Now get your ass out here and show me how hot you look.”

Remus stepped out, and Marlene started hooting and hollering. Which then resulted in both of them getting kicked out of the store. Marlene, as an apology, took him to Honeydukes and bought him a chocolate frog. They sat outside in the warmth of the afternoon and nibbled on the candy they had bought while they waited for the other two to finish up their purchase. 

Marlene looked over, “You know, you look good, Lupin. This guy’s really lucky.”

Remus turned to face her. “Here’s what I still don’t understand,” he said, “If you knew I liked Sirius, why would you want to set me up with someone else? Why would you point out the fact that I fancied him if you were planning this?”

Marlene looked guilty. She didn’t say anything. Remus was becoming more and more frustrated. “Listen, McKinnon, I would much rather be spending the weekend with my best friends, enjoying the fruits of our labors, that fruit being Severus Snape getting some fucking karma for once. Instead, I’m sitting here in embarrassingly tight trousers, waiting to go on a date with a bloke that I’ve never met. You at least owe me an explanation!”

“Okay,” Marlene said, “I know we’re asking a lot of you today, and I understand you’d rather be with Potter, Black, and Pettigrew, but you have to just trust me.” Remus still wasn’t convinced. “Or at least trust Evans.”

Remus sighed and finally relaxed his shoulders, which he had just realized had been tense the whole morning. “Fine.”

Marlene grins, and stands up from the bench, having finished her chocolate. As she did, Lily and Dorcas emerged from the shop. Marlene and Remus walked over, and Marlene grabbed Dorcas’s arm, looping it through hers. Lily led them back to Hogsmeade.

“Where are we going now?”

“The Three Broomsticks, obviously. Duh?” Marlene said.

The four of them made their way down to the pub, where there were dozens of Hogwarts students swarming around. Dorcas stops all of them. “Here’s what’s going to happen, okay?” Everyone nodded. “This guy, he’s going to be wearing a purple scarf, right?”  
“Yeah,” Lily answered.  
“Okay then,” she continued, “Remus is going to walk in and meet this fellow, then we’ll come in five minutes later and find a seat. Sounds good?”

Marlene and Lily nodded again, but Remus had a few concerns. “How do you know he’s already there? How do you know he won’t kill me?” 

Lily rolled her eyes. “Merlin’s sake, Lupin, just get in the fucking building. We’ve got it covered.” He heard her mutter something about being a “bloody saint for dealing with these two,” before she pushed him forward. He stumbled forward a couple steps before Marlene patted him on his shoulder and wished him good luck. “You’re going to need it,” Dorcas unhelpfully added. 

He nervously made his way into the pub, looking around, trying to find this purple scarf. He caught a flash of purple in his periphery, so he started over in the direction he saw it. He finally found the scarf, and he looked up to see that its wearer was none other than Sirius Orion Black.

Those sneaky bastards.

Marlene asked him if Sirius was single. She pointed out that he liked Sirius. This “friend of Lily’s” was probably one of the other Marauders. Fuck.

He contemplated turning around, leaving The Three Broomsticks, yelling at the girls, and going to bed, but before he could even move, Sirius made eye contact with him. “Moony?”

“Hey Pads”

“You’re wearing a blue jumper.”

“You’re wearing a purple scarf.”

Sirius stood up, showing that he was wearing his leather jacket as well. Remus couldn’t remember how to breathe. “Our friends are evil.”

Remus nodded numbly, “Yeah.”

“Prongs and Wormtail are coming in at 6:30.”

“That’s in five minutes, isn’t it?”

Sirius checked his watch. Remus was glad for the break from the intense eye contact, “It is. How’d you know?”

“McKinnon, Meadowes, and Evans are coming in in five minutes.”

“Oh, so they were all in on this, yeah?”

“I’m starting to think so,” Remus said. 

“This kind of seems like a shitty prank.”

“At least I’m not on a date with some guy I don’t know.”

“Wait,” Sirius said, “That’s how they pitched it to you?”

“What, a blind date?”

“No, I mean, they didn’t tell you anything about the person?”

Remus was confused. Had Sirius agreed to go on a date with someone? He seemed so content to just be single. If Remus hadn’t been the one to show up, would Sirius have been genuinely interested in going on a date with someone? He couldn’t help but feel jealous of this nonexistent person. He also half-wished that this had been an actual date with Sirius. He circled back to what Sirius had said before.

“No, they didn’t tell me anything. Just that Lily had a friend that wanted to set up his friend? What did James say?”

Sirius looked away again, “Well now I don’t want to say.”

“The sooner you do, the sooner we can figure out what happened here.”

“Okay, fine. This is really embarrassing, but… James kind of, sort of, maybe…”

Remus was losing patience. “What?” he asked.

“He said that the guy I was meeting was like you.”

Remus froze, not sure he heard him correctly. “What?” he repeated, noticeably less annoyed.

Sirius looked up at him with big, pleading eyes, “Please don’t make me say it again.”

“Wait, so what you’re saying is that James told you that you were going on a date with someone who was like me, and that’s what convinced you to go? Did you want to go on a date with someone like me? With me?”

Sirius didn’t respond, but he didn’t need to. Remus understood what was happening. This wasn’t a shitty and mean-spirited prank, this was an elaborate, “fifteen step plan” to set up their friends who were in love with each other. Holy shit. 

“Holy. Shit,” he vocalized.

“What?”

“Our friends are bloody geniuses,” he said, before pulling Sirius closer to him, “They were trying to set us up on an actual date. Because we both fancy each other.”

“But McKinnon said you liked-”

“Someone else, yeah. That someone is you, you prick.”

“Merlin’s balls.”

“Eloquently spoken,” Remus responded, before pulling Sirius into a kiss. 

Once they had separated, Remus heard someone catcall him. All of a sudden, it hit him that they were in public, and he was still waiting for his meddling friends to show up. He turned, and all five of them were standing there, grinning from ear to ear, looking like they were proud of themselves. 

Marlene smirked, having been the one catcalling them, “That was hot,” she said.

“Fuck off, McKinnon,” Sirius said, flipping her off, before pulling Remus into another kiss.

Remus was incredibly happy. This was something he never expected to actually happen. He couldn’t think of a single thing that could make him happier. That is until he heard the beginnings of a sea shanty from the restroom, followed by a frustrated yell that sounded suspiciously like a certain greasy bigot. He and Sirius broke apart, cackling along with the rest of their group. They all looked at James, who shrugged and looked toward Peter.

Peter looked away, failing to hide a grin, “I may have made a quick trip to Hogsmeade this morning…”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments, Kudos, and Bookmarks are highly appreciated!


End file.
